Different Situation
Experience With A Friend

The Power Of I

The I’s

 

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world”

- Mahatma Gandhi

 

    I hope their people who don't judge others by how they look. I hope their are people who aren’t too quick to judge. I hope that people understand eachother better. I hope places are safer so when you’re walking around the streets you don’t feel in danger, you feel safe. 

    I wish we can stop what is wrong. I wish we could do good, without having to do some bad to get to it. I wish that people are forgiven, and that even for their littles mistakes, those mistakes can be forgiven.

    I think that expectation of some people are set to high. I think that people can’t shut off their expectations but they can get past it. I think that people take too many things for granted, that they waste it on non needed things. I think that time is more important than money.

   I want to get better at things. I want to be better at things. I want to do something other than sitting in my bed all day. I want to be something. I want to change something. I want to do something that matters. I want to do right. I want to do good. I want to face my challenges and defeat them. I want to accomplish my goals.

   I tried to do my best. I tried to prove people wrong. I tried to do what I can to change. I tried to stay calm and not get mad. I tried not eat so much. I tried my best to complete my challenges. 

Comments

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Drew Callen

The parallel structure you used throughout this piece made it much more powerful in general, nice job.

Finn hudson

I really liked your first paragraph and the meaning to it because is still a bad thing that’s going on around the world. Nice job

Sam

Great writing! I really like the repetition, it really hammers home the point. It is a great writing peace describing the feelings of many. I think that you have hit the nail on the head and hammered home many of the key things the world wishes were better. Keep up the good work!

Chad

This is a really well done writing piece, I really liked the first and second paragraphs and thought that they were very powerful and well written. Overall great job.

Kevin Yuan

Great writing! I like the use of repetition; however, it feels like there is too much, but I guess that’s unavoidable given the assignment. Great job.

Will Hatten

This writing piece is really, really good. You hammered home your theme the entire way home, and I liked how when in your fourth paragraph you got deep into what you wanted. Great job Jack!

Mark

I liked how you used a different word for the parallel structure in each paragraph. The quote fit pretty well too.

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