Writing Peice #1
Chores Writing Piece

Assignment #1

The Power of I

 

     If I could explain who I am through thoughts and what I want, then it would probably be something like this: I want to be able to walk near other people and not have to give that face to each other as we move 6 feet apart. I want to become free of this nightmare we are all trapped inside of that keeps going and going on. I hope I can be able to see my friends for the first time in a while. I dream about the times when I am surfing on a wave that is orange because of the sunset glaring on it with no worries in life. Then later after that going to my favorite pizza shop near the beach. I am excited for the next soccer season and the new league that’s my team will be joining. Hopefully we will be one of the top teams in the new league because the league we were in got shut down. I always try to find the fun in things whenever I can. Even if you are doing something that you don’t like very much always find the small fun things in it because it will make it just that much better. I despise of a lot of foods I haven’t eaten because I am a picky eater(especially when it comes to sauces). I try to work my hardest whenever I can. I am very competitive spirited in a lot of things that I do. Even if it is just a night time ping pong game with my brother I am still very competitive in those. Also I am very competitive in video games too. Another thing about me is that I always try to get thing done early, so I don’t have to worry about it later on. 

 

 

Comments

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Chad

Nice job, I liked the opening sentence where you set up the paragraph and the first part of this I agreed to about walking near people and not having to be six feet apart. Nice job.

Sam

Great writing Finn! I think that you have captured the feelings of a lot of people. I know I feel the same about all of this. I really like the way you describe riding the wave as the sun sets in the background, it gives a vivid image that is very easy to see. Keep up the good work!

Drew Callen

This piece was pretty good, I really enjoyed the writing and it felt like I was reading a famous authors book. Great job

Kevin Yuan

Nice writing. I like how well you described the surfing scene.

Jack Doherty

I like the opening, and how relatable this piece is. The flow of the story was great, nice job.

Mark

I liked the opening sentence. It was written well, and set up the rest of the piece nicely.

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