The Power of I
05/01/2020
I am many things
I am a person. I am a boy. I am from Lexington, Massachusetts. I am athletic. I love sports. I love all Boston sports teams. I love to cook. I love playing music, especially the guitar, singing, and piano. I am Puerto Rican, Irish, Jewish, and catholic.
I hope to be a good citizen of the world. I hope to be a good friend and a good person. I hope to be someone that people can trust, and someone that people can talk to. I hope to be a hard worker. Someone who is not lazy and does not rely on help too much. I hope that I am good at the subjects in school, and the sports I play and love.
I dream to go to a good college. I dream to go to a good school. I dream to work for the Red Sox or be the general manager for any baseball team. I dream to live in a world that people do no treat like a garbage can. A world where people treat others with respect and dignity. A world that is not at risk of ending in a catastrophic way.
I am many things, I hope am many things, and I dream of many things. That is who I am.
This is an awesome piece. You define yourself physically, then you move to dreams and ideas, which I think worked perfectly. This piece has an amazing flow and conveys your thoughts well. Good writing.
Posted by: Eli Zahavi | 05/03/2020 at 09:01 AM
I liked how short but thoughtfull and reflective this piece was. It really shows how much time you put into this writing, as the quality over qunatity principle is quite prominent in these four paragraphs, and it was cool to see that you challenged yourself to start many more sentences with "I" than you needed to.
Posted by: Nick Brady | 05/03/2020 at 01:57 PM
This is very well-written, Rory. I really love the format of this piece. I like how you have three different "chunks" of parallel structure, the first one being the repetition of "I am" and "I love" the second being the repetition of "I hope," and the third one being the repetition of "I dream." And, at the end, you circle back to the repetition of "I am" for a nice finish to a great piece. Great work.
Posted by: Oliver Ali | 05/03/2020 at 03:19 PM
This is a very powerfully written piece where you wrote about many different parts about your life. Any person that doesn’t know you can read this and get a really good sense of what you are like, and your motives. Great job!
Posted by: William O'Malley | 05/03/2020 at 09:41 PM
This piece had some tone that made it feel powerful to me as I was reading. You did a great job separating your hopes from your dreams, and then transitioning to your wishes for the world. Great work!
Posted by: Jamie Book | 05/04/2020 at 04:59 AM
This is a great response! It reads more like a poem than a journal entry, and it captures the depth and breadth of who you are!
Posted by: Fitz... | 05/04/2020 at 05:49 PM
In such a short piece you’ve synthesized so much - a skill I someday hope to have. I guess I can start with this comment, though.
Posted by: Max Troiano | 05/05/2020 at 10:33 AM