I live a good life. I live a life with 2 loving parents.  I live a life with a nice house and good friends. I live a pretty lucky life. I am a kid who got really lucky at birth. I got lucky with a loving family and not living paycheck to paycheck. 

I live a life of lies. I live a life of “I’m fine.” I live a life of “I’m not hurt.” I live a life of “ill just walk it off.” I live a life of ER visits. I live a life of angry doctors asking why I didn’t listen to them and hurt myself worse. I am a kid who won’t stop. I am a kid who doesn’t care about pain. I am a kid that hates writing these because my brain says to write these things but I feel like I’m bragging about oh I’m so tuff. I hate that. But I act before I think. 

I am a kid who does what’s best in the moment. I am the kid who can bend his left thumb past 150 degrees. All because I didn’t want to leave the game. I am a kid who broke a shoulder in the first quarter and finished the game without complaining all because I didn’t want to look weak. I live a life of walking through the hand shake line with broken fingers and wrists. I live a life of lowering the shoulder on a kid bigger than me when I have a broken shoulder. I live a life of showing no pain. I live a life of slap shots and body checks with a completely torn bicep tendon.  I am going to read this in the future and hate that I wrote this. I am a very selfless kid who doesn’t like talking about himself. But always writes about himself and hates it. 

I am a kid who lives by the words, pain is temporary. Well it is pain is temporary and winning is forever but that’s not true. I never remember all the times I’ve won a  game or tournament. 

It’s worse every day. I can’t see myself ever liking school when it’s not spring time. School is just a long nightmare. I’ve never liked school. The only thing about school that’s fun are the little things. Hanging out with friends, playing sports with you friends, that type of stuff. All my teachers see me as negative because that’s who I am in class.  I’m miserable in school. It’s an hour of sitting, getting in trouble, being confused, and doing work that I don’t know how to do. Don’t even get me started on homework. Every year it’s more and more homework. Every year it’s more and more time taken away from kids. Almost every kid does some sort of sport/activity. From personal experiences 6-7 days of the week from the middle of fall to the end of spring I’m not getting home until 10.

Now just because I’m home doesn’t mean I’m starting my homework at 10. I have to shower, make dinner and eat dinner. At best I’m starting my homework at 11:15. At 11: 15 I couldn’t care less about my grade on whatever I’m doing for homework. I’m in bet at 12:30 almost every night. I get 5 hours of sleep tops every night. And teachers still get mad at me for sleeping in the gym lobby when I arrive. I’d say I have the longest days at fenn. I’m usually one of the first people at fenn.  I beat all the teacher there. I beat every student to school. I’m on a varsity team for 2/3 of the year. I’m on the fenn property from 7 am to 5pm. After school I go to either lacrosse, hockey, physical therapy or a mix. All my practices are pretty far from my house. How many sports teams where you on when you were 14 years old. I’m on 5 different teams. Keep that in mind the next time you say “ you guys have plenty of time to get the homework done.” And then complain about how tiered people are in the morning when they get no sleep. Don’t go thinking that I hate school and if I had the chance wouldn’t go. I have a shattered tailbone and broken pelvis at the same time. I was advised not to go to school. I still went to school. I still sat in those hard plastic and wood chairs. I didn’t complain once about how much pain I was in while walking down the halls and stairs just to get to a class that I don’t want to be in and sit in a chair that hurts that hell. I wasn’t allowed to use the elevator until the second week I was injured. I tried to use it but got yelled at by teacher and forced to walk up those stairs.

Science is the worst class and I don’t care if he knows or not. He know I hate him. I get in verbal fights with him and I try and get under his skin every class I do it to get back at him. I broke my shoulder in a Fenn football game and had to where a sling for a month. He knew I was in a sling he knew I was injured. I couldn’t write with the sling on because it was my dominant arm that was hurt. He still had me write paragraph after paragraph. He watched kids poke my shoulder and flick my shoulder and I was visibly in pain. What did he do nothing.

When I broke my tailbone and pelvis I broke down in tears when I tried to sit down and a kid pulled my cushion out from under me and I sat down on his hard plastic chair. What did he do? He did nothing. He didn’t even ask if I was good or not. He asked me to get up and sit in my chair. From then on I tried to make his life a living hell in class. It was to the point of where kids would ask what I would say that day. I was know in that class as the kid that wants to make this teacher's life hell. I got under his skin so easily. And yeah I’m an asshole. But he deserved it. I would look for ways to get him just the smallest bit mad and when he finally budged I would go off on him. You ever want to say something but only say it in your head. I would just say it. The hardest part was keeping a straight face. I would have the kids next to me dying laughing. I wasn’t doing it for attention or just to be funny. I did it because I was pissed off at him and needed to get back at him.

The only time of the school year I enjoy is spring. Spring is lacrosse season. I can finally just do what I love to do. I can finally just ignore the school work for the moment and just play lacrosse. This quarantine sucks. It couldn’t have been at a worse time. I was practicing with the CC varsity team for the 2 first weeks of the season and then it all got canceled. I was supposed to practice with varsity all year. I’m Coach’s D’s next goalie. I’m on the path of being CC’s first ever 4 year starting goalie. Never in the history of CC has there been a 4 year starter and I’m on path to be the first. And now I can’t practice I can’t play I’m trapped in my house. I’ve lost the joy of spring. I’m getting hyped just typing the possibility of being the first ever CC 4 year starter. The starter now is a senior and I’m far better than the other goalies. And that’s not just me being cocky. That’s from the players and coaches. And what Coach D says he means. He doesn't care about how you feel. Worst thing that happens is I’m the backup at CC. Even then I’m happy. I’m on varsity as a freshman. 

Quarantine

Quarantine is really just in house prison. The defenition of quarantine is "A quarantine is a restriction on the movement of people and goods which is intended to prevent the spread of disease or pests. It is often used in connection to disease and illness, preventing the movement of those who may have been exposed to a communicable disease, but do not have a confirmed medical diagnosis. It is distinct from medical isolation, in which those confirmed to be infected with a communicable disease are isolated from the healthy population." It's prison, you can't go outside, you can't see other people. 

Everyone is supposed to work out or do some sort of activities during the day but what can you really do. You can't go to the gym, you're not supposed to go outside on a run or outside at all. You can't go for a bike ride. My family is pretty fortunate that we have the equipment that we have. My parents are able to workout now when they didn't have the time to back when school was in. My brother and I are able to stay in shape and get better at what we do and stay at our peek performance for our high level sports. 

School sucks even more now than it did. Yeah you could say oh, it's shorter days, oh, you get to wake up later. But it wasn't the time of waking up or the time spent at school that was making it bad. What was making it bad was the amount of work. What was making it bad was if a friend didn't show up to school that day. Online school is the worst of both worlds. Teachers think you have tons of time on our hands and pile on more and more work. At the end of the day I usually have a minimum of an hour one a half of homework. We don't even see our friends at all really. It's like saying that you really want to go to Disney world and then someone giving you a video of someone walking through the park. It's not really seeing people at all. 

The only good thing I can think of that is caused by this quarantine is starting new hobbys. I have more energy at the end of the day without the edge to just sit and have down time. I found new enjoyment in stringing lacrosse heads. I have already made money off of stringing lacrosse heads. I find almost my Zen place while stringing lacrosse heads. It's calming and relaxing. 

In the end all I want it to be free of this prison called quarantine.