Daily Journal #3

It took me a while to get started on today’s journal. Today is Saturday, the first weekend after a full week of school. I think it’s fair to say that we are finally getting back into the swing of things.

The reason it took me so long to get started on today’s journal is because I had already done most of my work today. I’m not bragging, I did the work for my other classes because I feel pretty behind on English. I still need to write this, my Reading Log and do commenting.

I started today off slow, I got up at 9 and just relaxed until four. I did some homework rather slowly and wound up with just English left. In a lot of ways it still feels like break, or at least in my mind. I’m not as attentive to things getting done and I still send the majority of my day doing nothing. I guess that’s okay, because we’re locked indoors, and the school day is more tiring than before. 

It’s weird to think how much I’ve been in my room. It’s where I sleep, take zoom classes, do my work for classes, do homework, spend my free time. I’m looking out the same window I have been for the last month or so. 

I don’t really know if we’re going back this year. I hope we do. I’d be too strange to never see anyone again, and I’d be an awful way to leave Fenn. How would we even graduate? It’s interesting to be living through this, I’ve never stayed home for so long, but it’s such a sour note. It feels as if we’ve lost out on something important. All the fun stuff that was saved for the end of the year has suddenly vanished, and in it’s place is just the same view I’ve been looking out for weeks.

I try to stay optimistic though. I think I’ve talked about this in my first journal, but it’s hard to think about anything else. That’s what I’m hoping to do for my senior reflection, not Coronavirus. This might be the first video senior reflection ever, so I got to set a good standard. Mr. Duane recommended I wear a suit and tie, which I think would be pretty funny. I have no clue where I want to film it though. I’m actually looking forward to it. I can do multiple takes, which takes a lot of the pressure off. I want to make it interesting, I have a chance to change the style of a senior reflection, so it’s definitely something I could make my own. 

As for everything else, it’s been fairly uneventful. I finally got my decision in, so I won’t have to worry about high school until September. I’m excited, it’ll definitely be much different, but that’s something that I think every 9th grader kinda wants. It’s going to be sad leaving Fenn in such a disappointing way, but the very end doesn’t matter too much, it’s all just sitting around. Anyway, I shouldn’t be too reminiscent while I’m still here, so I guess I’ll just have to take it day by day.

Daily Journal #2

We’re back. 

Today’s Monday, the first Monday of online school. Things are going pretty well. I woke up and 8:30 today, took a shower and went to the online advisory. 

I like advisory. I appreciate it much more now that it’s online. I like starting my day with nothing critical to do. It’s just a way I can unwind and talk about how things are going. Today we played skribl, an online game. It’s basically Pictionary for your computer/iPad. It didn’t go too well, but it was still a lot of fun. We’re planning on doing more stuff like that in the mornings, and I’m excited for it. Sometimes you need a refresher before you can jump into things fully, and I’m starting to appreciate advisor as a way to do that. 

As for classes today, they were less tiring then they had been the last few days. I guess it’s less zoom meetings that I have to worry about. I like zoom, but it’s exhausting just sitting around. The scenery starts to become boring. It’s still always nice to wake up late though. 

My day seems to be becoming very full. I have school from 9-1 and then I have to run. It’s a lot different from my other schedule that I had during break. I still have time to do my own thing, but it’s starting to feel more and more like a normal Fenn day. I guess that’s good. My dad says I need to stay in a routine, although that’s difficult. School helps. It’s hard for me to be completely productive. I feel like I’m only taking short breaks in between work and suddenly it’s 6 o’clock. 

I spend a lot of time on homework, even though I probably don’t need to. It’s English that’s taking the most time to be honest. And it’s probably English that is the most different. In our other classes the actual class time was worksheets and discussions. While we did some of those in English, it felt more interactive. It’s strange not being distracted by people talking while I’m trying to get stuff done. I can’t walk out of the room I’m working in to ask Fitz a question as freely as I could. It doesn’t make the seamless jump to online as the others do. It’s not a fault of a person, just the nature of the class. I think I’ll get more used to it as time goes on. 

In other news, I still don’t know what school I’m going to. I wrote a journal entry on that topic specifically, but I’m not sure if all make it one of my main entries. I did share it with my parents, which is something that I rarely do. They’re still jokingly asking me about the story I wrote, which I don’t know what I’m going to do with. It made my view on schools a lot clearer. They said I’m making it out a bigger deal than it is. I don’t know. I’ll be spending four years there. I have to make a choice by Friday. It’ll never be obvious to me, it’s hard to say no to any school. I have a virtual revisit day tonight, hopefully it’ll shine some light on which school I want to go to.

Other then that, things are good. 

Daily Journal #1

Today is Saturday. The first weekend off of online learning. I don’t really know what to do right now. For a few days before school started, I was excited to get back, back to being busy, back in the swing of things, but right now, more than ever, I’m left with a sinking feeling of loneliness. I didn’t feel it in the first couple weeks, but the novelty of staying home all day is starting to wear off. I feel stuck in an infinite loop of work and relaxation, neither of them being that fulfilling. But it’s nice to be back. In the face of a tragedy a lot of people are feeling alone. I get to talk to my friends on a regular basis, and that’s nice. It’s just hard to know what I’m supposed to be doing I guess. You say you don’t have the time to do anything, but when the time comes, you don’t know what to do. It’s hard being locked inside. 

I try to occupy my time as best as possible. I still find myself on my phone for a little too long, though. 

The strangest thing for me about all this are the online classes. It’s great to connect with everyone again, but you don’t get the interaction that you have in a classroom. I don’t walk out of class chatting like I could at school, instead, I click and button and the room fills with a hollow silence. You don’t have the personal experiences that you get from in person classes. 

It’s still better than nothing. I don’t really know how long this is going to last, but I hope it ends soon. There’s a lot going on in my life right now. I still have to make a decision about school, on top of the fact that this is my last year at Fenn. It’s strange  to think that I might never see some of my classmates again after this year. 

There’s a lot of uncertainty going on right now, but I guess there always has been, at least for me. I know we’ll get through it though.