There’s a saying that you hear

every once and a while.

“There’s more to life than

blank”

Daily Journal #3

It took me a while to get started on today’s journal. Today is Saturday, the first weekend after a full week of school. I think it’s fair to say that we are finally getting back into the swing of things.

The reason it took me so long to get started on today’s journal is because I had already done most of my work today. I’m not bragging, I did the work for my other classes because I feel pretty behind on English. I still need to write this, my Reading Log and do commenting.

I started today off slow, I got up at 9 and just relaxed until four. I did some homework rather slowly and wound up with just English left. In a lot of ways it still feels like break, or at least in my mind. I’m not as attentive to things getting done and I still send the majority of my day doing nothing. I guess that’s okay, because we’re locked indoors, and the school day is more tiring than before. 

It’s weird to think how much I’ve been in my room. It’s where I sleep, take zoom classes, do my work for classes, do homework, spend my free time. I’m looking out the same window I have been for the last month or so. 

I don’t really know if we’re going back this year. I hope we do. I’d be too strange to never see anyone again, and I’d be an awful way to leave Fenn. How would we even graduate? It’s interesting to be living through this, I’ve never stayed home for so long, but it’s such a sour note. It feels as if we’ve lost out on something important. All the fun stuff that was saved for the end of the year has suddenly vanished, and in it’s place is just the same view I’ve been looking out for weeks.

I try to stay optimistic though. I think I’ve talked about this in my first journal, but it’s hard to think about anything else. That’s what I’m hoping to do for my senior reflection, not Coronavirus. This might be the first video senior reflection ever, so I got to set a good standard. Mr. Duane recommended I wear a suit and tie, which I think would be pretty funny. I have no clue where I want to film it though. I’m actually looking forward to it. I can do multiple takes, which takes a lot of the pressure off. I want to make it interesting, I have a chance to change the style of a senior reflection, so it’s definitely something I could make my own. 

As for everything else, it’s been fairly uneventful. I finally got my decision in, so I won’t have to worry about high school until September. I’m excited, it’ll definitely be much different, but that’s something that I think every 9th grader kinda wants. It’s going to be sad leaving Fenn in such a disappointing way, but the very end doesn’t matter too much, it’s all just sitting around. Anyway, I shouldn’t be too reminiscent while I’m still here, so I guess I’ll just have to take it day by day.

Daily Journal #2

We’re back. 

Today’s Monday, the first Monday of online school. Things are going pretty well. I woke up and 8:30 today, took a shower and went to the online advisory. 

I like advisory. I appreciate it much more now that it’s online. I like starting my day with nothing critical to do. It’s just a way I can unwind and talk about how things are going. Today we played skribl, an online game. It’s basically Pictionary for your computer/iPad. It didn’t go too well, but it was still a lot of fun. We’re planning on doing more stuff like that in the mornings, and I’m excited for it. Sometimes you need a refresher before you can jump into things fully, and I’m starting to appreciate advisor as a way to do that. 

As for classes today, they were less tiring then they had been the last few days. I guess it’s less zoom meetings that I have to worry about. I like zoom, but it’s exhausting just sitting around. The scenery starts to become boring. It’s still always nice to wake up late though. 

My day seems to be becoming very full. I have school from 9-1 and then I have to run. It’s a lot different from my other schedule that I had during break. I still have time to do my own thing, but it’s starting to feel more and more like a normal Fenn day. I guess that’s good. My dad says I need to stay in a routine, although that’s difficult. School helps. It’s hard for me to be completely productive. I feel like I’m only taking short breaks in between work and suddenly it’s 6 o’clock. 

I spend a lot of time on homework, even though I probably don’t need to. It’s English that’s taking the most time to be honest. And it’s probably English that is the most different. In our other classes the actual class time was worksheets and discussions. While we did some of those in English, it felt more interactive. It’s strange not being distracted by people talking while I’m trying to get stuff done. I can’t walk out of the room I’m working in to ask Fitz a question as freely as I could. It doesn’t make the seamless jump to online as the others do. It’s not a fault of a person, just the nature of the class. I think I’ll get more used to it as time goes on. 

In other news, I still don’t know what school I’m going to. I wrote a journal entry on that topic specifically, but I’m not sure if all make it one of my main entries. I did share it with my parents, which is something that I rarely do. They’re still jokingly asking me about the story I wrote, which I don’t know what I’m going to do with. It made my view on schools a lot clearer. They said I’m making it out a bigger deal than it is. I don’t know. I’ll be spending four years there. I have to make a choice by Friday. It’ll never be obvious to me, it’s hard to say no to any school. I have a virtual revisit day tonight, hopefully it’ll shine some light on which school I want to go to.

Other then that, things are good. 

Daily Journal #1

Today is Saturday. The first weekend off of online learning. I don’t really know what to do right now. For a few days before school started, I was excited to get back, back to being busy, back in the swing of things, but right now, more than ever, I’m left with a sinking feeling of loneliness. I didn’t feel it in the first couple weeks, but the novelty of staying home all day is starting to wear off. I feel stuck in an infinite loop of work and relaxation, neither of them being that fulfilling. But it’s nice to be back. In the face of a tragedy a lot of people are feeling alone. I get to talk to my friends on a regular basis, and that’s nice. It’s just hard to know what I’m supposed to be doing I guess. You say you don’t have the time to do anything, but when the time comes, you don’t know what to do. It’s hard being locked inside. 

I try to occupy my time as best as possible. I still find myself on my phone for a little too long, though. 

The strangest thing for me about all this are the online classes. It’s great to connect with everyone again, but you don’t get the interaction that you have in a classroom. I don’t walk out of class chatting like I could at school, instead, I click and button and the room fills with a hollow silence. You don’t have the personal experiences that you get from in person classes. 

It’s still better than nothing. I don’t really know how long this is going to last, but I hope it ends soon. There’s a lot going on in my life right now. I still have to make a decision about school, on top of the fact that this is my last year at Fenn. It’s strange  to think that I might never see some of my classmates again after this year. 

There’s a lot of uncertainty going on right now, but I guess there always has been, at least for me. I know we’ll get through it though. 

      Lord of the Flies Paragraph Timed Assignment 

         Whether we like it or not, humans are driven by fear. In Lord of the Flies, by William Golding, fear transforms from a thought in the back of the boys minds to a ravenous monster that leads them to madness. Fear manifests itself as the beast, changing in form to fit whatever new possibility that springs into their minds. When the boys crash land on this new and strange island, they see it as a paradise, but eventually they are overwhelmed by whispers of a beast. They initially deny it’s existence “Be frightened because you’re like that—but there is no beast in the forest.”[83], but eventually even the smartest boys on the island acknowledge it’s presence. The only problem is, that there is no beast, at least not in the physical sense.

‘He says the beast comes out of the sea.’ The last laugh died away. Ralph turned involuntarily, a black, humped figure against the lagoon. The assembly looked with him, considered the vast stretches of water, the high sea beyond, unknown indigo of infinite possibility, heard silently the sough and whisper from the reef. Maurice spoke, so loudly that they jumped. ‘Daddy said they haven’t found all the animals in the sea yet.’ [88]

The assembly quickly turns from jovially laughing at the kid who believes in the beast, to freezing terrified at the possibility of it. It shows that no matter how big and brave we think we are, we aren’t over fear, because there will always be the unknown. The pressured mind of a child can come up with wild possibilities, whether they believe it or not. “‘That’s a clever beast,’ said Piggy, jeering, ‘if it can hide on this island.’ ‘Where could the beast live?’” [87]Fear is within all of us, too close than we like to admit. Golding shows us that the mind of children can be easily manipulated, but what’s truly great about the book is that it applies to everyone.

Tips for Young Writers

Advice on how to write an epic story

When I was first tasked with writing the epic story, I was, too put it lightly, a little nervous. The whole assignment seemed like more work than I was cut out for, and at times in the process I felt like it was, but by the end I was left with a story I could be proud of and a new perspective on how to write. It didn’t come without its challenges, but there were things along the way that I discovered were crucial to keeping your mind on task and writing your story well. 

• The number one thing that you have to do is be consistent with when you write. Do Not leave it all to the last minute, or even the last week, when you get the assignment, or just decide to write a lengthy piece, you have to make sure to stay on  task. This means just writing at least a little bit every two or three days. I had days where I didn’t write, and that’s fine, but you should never have an extended period of time where you haven’t written, because you can become disconnected from the story and forget where you are, leaving your story disconnected as well. You don’t have to write a lot, just like 500 words per session, but I find that the longer you can write the better.
• It’s also important to know that you shouldn’t care too much about the first few chapters. If you’re like me where you figure out how you want your story to play out as you write it, this is especially important. I had lots of trouble with the first few writing sessions, just because I didn’t know how things would play out. I was presented with a massive, branching path of possibilities, and I was lost on where to go. Don’t worry too much about it. I found myself editing the beginning above anything else, because that’s the time where I had the least information on how the story would be written. I didn’t know how I wanted to end it until I got to the last chapter. Just write as much as you can and worry about how the beginning feels in editing.
• One thing I did that was super helpful was I gave comments to myself as I worked. It’s very easy to make comments, just highlight text and select that option. Write about a possible path you want to take with your story, or something you want to change about an earlier part. This makes editing much easier. Halfway through my story I realized that I wanted to change something, so I just wrote the story as if I had did that. I got the chance to go back and edit, but I only had to edit half the story. It’s a good way to keep those things written down and right in front of you as you go through your story.
• Find a good place to work. An important part of writing for me is location. If I’m not somewhere that’s quiet, I can easily get distracted. I had trouble working in my teacher’s room when writing, because there were a lot of people also working right next to me, some of who could be distracting. I ended up working in the library, because it was a much quieter space where I could get a lot done. At home I had trouble, too. I tried working all over my house, in my basement, in my room, in a chair in my parent’s room. It was hard to find a good location. It’s a hard thing to find, but once you get a location where you can focus, you can write more than you thought you could.
• The last and probably most important thing to do is just write. This was the hardest part for me throughout the whole process of writing. It’s hard to say to yourself “I’m just going to sit down and write for a while.” I would try to stall, or make excuses, but in the end you just have to do it. Another thing I struggled with was getting in the groove of writing. I would lose focus or my mind would wander and suddenly I’ve been doing nothing for five minutes. Getting distracted can even seem productive, like trying to think of what to write next, which can still lead to being distracted. When I was writing at home, there would be things on my desk that I would fidget with. The best thing to do is just try to lock your hands on your iPad. It forces your attention there, even when you’re thinking of something else. It’s hard to focus, and I don’t think anyone has complete focus, but the better you are at it, the easier your writing will be

Writing is hard. This project was the first time I really had to write a long story. It’s much different from anything else in writing. It requires long term focus and persistence, so make sure it at least interests you. This isn’t about the specifics of the story, it’s about the experience of writing it, so make sure you enjoy it.

What a Tradition Really Means

My experience with the holidays

“Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.” 

~W. Somerset Maugham

Christmas is often regarded as one of the most magical times of the year. The dazzling lights, the merry songs, and of course, the excitement of presents. Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, after all, so naturally it would be America’s favorite holiday. But the holiday that I think doesn’t get quite enough love is New Year’s. New Year’s Eve is often swept under the rug as the holiday after Christmas. There isn’t much leading up to it, besides the occasional “What’s your New Year’s resolution?”. No songs, symbols, or festivities that make it distinct from other holidays. Personally, New Year’s is a fun holiday, but not one I think much about. It usually seems like a small special event before I have to go to school. 

My New Year’s Eves usually play out similarly. It starts with my dad and I sitting down on our old couch to watch a movie at about 8:00. The type of movie never matters, just something that we can both laugh at while the minutes tick by. My sister has gone out to meet with friends while my mom has gone to bed early. It’s just me and my dad in our dimly lit living room. After the movie is over, I’m usually not sure what to do. What I end up doing is going to play on my computer because I don’t want to watch another movie, but I don’t want to miss New Year’s. After an hour or two of being by myself, I come back out to wait for the countdown. My dad has woken my mom up and we all sit back and wait for the ball to drop. Eventually, it’s time. 3..2..1! The cheap party poppers we bought explode with a snap. Unlike most of the East Coast, there isn’t a loud cheer, just a couple voices showing their appreciation for the new year.

It doesn’t seem like much looking back, but that’s what I like about. There’s no major rules of the holiday, you’re free to celebrate how you like. New Year’s Eve isn’t an extraordinarily special holiday, but one that I am grateful for. It’s not about the presents or the food, just a small moment for you to enjoy yourself. Sure, after five minutes the joy starts to dissipate, but it still is a fun holiday. I get to celebrate my own way, not a way that people before me decided was good. What makes a tradition special isn’t how long it’s been around or how many people follow it, but the fact that you have fun with it, whether it’s by yourself or with crowds of others.

My Week in Review

A recollection of my week

“So much is buried in our lives that we forget what we have learned.”
― Harley King

When I glanced over the assignment for the narrative paragraph, I thought it would be a breeze. I decided to start it after Friday, because that’s when my week ended, and I was supposed to do an overview of the week. Well Friday came and went, and Saturday, and Sunday. I did my other homework, but didn’t really want to spend the hour or so working on a big writing piece. On Monday, I realize that I should probably get started. Then I realized my problem, I had no memory of the week that I just experienced. I racked my brain for any tiny bit of information that I had stored on the five days that I had just spent at school. 

From what I know, it started on Monday last week, that’s when school normally starts. I dragged myself to Global Studies, all the way across campus from my advisor. I sat down in my chair in the oval table and started to work on my Middle East essay. It wasn’t a terrible start to my week, our class was relaxed and I got to get enough work done. 

The next few classes went by like a blur, but I remember liking them, Latin, Bio, Geometry, not a terrible schedule. Overall the day went pretty well, even though everything seems hazy in my memory.

The next day was Tuesday. I had YIP and I realized I forgot my iPad, great. I was tired from waking up earlier than usual, and forgetting the thing I needed to participate didn’t help either. We were supposed to do independent research on charities, but without anyway to do that, it wasn’t great. Eventually the class ended and I hurried from advisor to English. Still without an iPad, I spent my time waiting at the round, wooden table for my mom to come and drop it off. With the class scattered about the room, it was weird just sitting idling in the middle of the room. Finally I just decide to wait at the front office. I make my way through the halls and out onto the chilly field. After about five minutes, my mom showed up and I rushed back to the classroom. 

Once I got back, my memory gets hazy. I might have submitted a assignment or two, then started working on Book X of the Odyssey. I sat on the sofa, trying my best to concentrate on the story while the people around me talked, I along side them. I don’t think I finished Book X in class, so I had to finish it for homework. 

The rest of the day I bounced around from class to class, happy because it was a half day. When we finally got out, I felt kind of hungry p, do I went to go get pizza, knowing I hadn’t signed up. From there, I hung around, not really sure of what to do. 

Wednesday was the day I remember most, because I wasn’t at school. I went to tour and interview at a secondary school. The tour and interview were pretty normal, we walked through the school then I sat down and talked with someone for twenty-ish minutes. When it was over I went back to the car with my Mom, and headed home.

On Thursday I didn’t have English. I had two periods, Latin and Global, then a double Bio. I remember the double Bio period being pretty fun, we learned a lot more stuff about genetics, and didn’t spend too long in one place. We had three different labs going on at the same time, so it didn’t feel like two hours of nothing. After that school was pretty much over, I had lunch then an art period then, nothing. Sports was over now, no more staying until five, running miles around the campus. It was nice, not having to stay for so long, but also weird. The whole school was still here, with us. I ended up hanging out in Mrs. Wei’s room with my friend Harrison and a few others. We watched the lower school do their work, something I had never seen before. Their day ended with a story and a game, which we ninth graders got to participate in. Soon after, I got picked up, and my day was over.

Then came Friday, the final day of the week before the long weekend. It started with English. I wasn’t sure at first what we were going to do, so I just sat down, finding a drum to wrap on while I waited. Soon I realized what I wanted to do, read Book XI; Fitz said we don’t have to read it, but my curiosity got the better of me. I tried at first to read with everyone around me, but soon realized that it wasn’t going to go very well. A couple of shouts across the room later, I dragged my stuff to the stairs, just outside the classroom. I could still hear the occasional chatter, but I did well at just keeping on reading. By the end of the period I had finished my work, and realized that maybe I didn’t have to read it. We all filed out of the room, and went to our next classes. 

A few hours later, it was over, I was free to go home and enjoy the long weekend. 

When I was writing this I realized that I didn’t remember too much of the week. But, that’s okay, because I know I learned a great bit.

It was dark. It was always dark. The bright moon shone through the trees, giving the illusion that there might be a sun that would eventually come up. 

“Watcha doin?” my younger brother, John asks. 

“Nothing, just thinking.” I say 

“Okay” John responds, disappointed

We haven’t talked much the last few days. We haven’t done much either. Just trekking through the cold woods, lost in the abyss of trees. I don’t remember how we got here, part of me feels like we have always been here, but that can’t be true. 

“Where are we going again?” he asks 

“I told you, I don’t know. We just have to find some sort of civilization and we’ll be fine.”

“But how will we get home, we don’t even know where it is?”

“I don’t know- We’ll worry about it when we get there.”

John lets out a sigh

Silence followed. We walked along, always walking. Leaves crunched under our worn boots. Then we heard it again. It was different every time. It was just loud and close. Grunts, howls, snarls, they surrounded us. It felt like they were everywhere, but we couldn’t quite see them. 

“It’s back again.” my little brother quivered 

“Let’s walk faster, it didn’t hurt us last time.” I responded, as calmly as possible.

Then, something happened that I didn’t think could. I...saw them. They ran on all fours but were unlike something I had ever seen. The darkness covered them well but you could see their skin. That was the worst part of them. Their skin was splotches of fur, scales, and human skin. I grew sick to my stomach. 

“Climb the trees,” I said urgently

“What?” 

“Climb the tree.” 

We scamper up a large oak, branches high enough that I have to stretch to reach them. The beasts circle in, their silhouettes blocking out the trees behind them. 

“Come on, get up!” I yell down.

I grab my brothers arm and hoist him the the lowest branch. We keep climbing until we’re halfway up the tree. Their grunts becomes clearer. It almost seems like a language. They speak back to each other, and talk in sentences. It still sounds completely animal, yet there’s something that makes it seem like more. I can also see their figures outlined now. They have long snouts like wolves, yet it sticks out more. Their teeth are sharp and pointed, but extremely long, probably about the length of a pencil. They have arms, yet walk on all fours. There is a difference between their hands and feet, but it’s hard to make out. Their skin still is a mess of parts of other animals that have been mashed together. The only thing that I can’t make out is the face. It seems foreign and familiar at the same time. 

“What are they?” John whimpered

“I...I don’t know.” I said

We stayed there for hours backs to the trunk. There was nothing we could really say. After an eternity, they left without a sound. We waited, then slowly climbed down. 

We kept walking in silence, there was nothing else to do but keep walking. John walked about 50 feet in front of me, hoping to get a glimpse of something. Suddenly he started running. 

“Come on! I see something!” he shouted

“Wait up! I say back, picking up my pace.

But as I kept going faster, the further away he got. 

“Hey! Slow down!” I say urgently, John almost being gone from my view now. 

Sprinting, I try my best to keep up with him, but he’s gone. I’m panicking, I’m alone now, trapped in the woods. I keep running towards where he went, but there’s nothing. Whatever he saw is gone now, along with him. 

Hours pass, the creatures are back now, louder than ever. I go back to the tree, but this time I see something. One of them is looking at me, like directly at me. The others are just scratching at the tree or looking up-ish. Now I see it’s eyes, what was once invisible is now all too clear. Even from dozens of feet up it’s black abyss pulls me in. I feel myself leaning forward, unable to stop myself. Just as I’m about to fall off, I catch myself. And in an instant, they’re gone. 

I slowly make my way down the tree, rattled by what just happened. It’s getting much colder now, it seems to be shifting from fall to winter, the once colorful leaves on the ground are changing from vibrant to brown. My coat isn’t enough to keep the freezing air out anymore. My legs are growing stiff, and just as I’m about to sit to take a break, I see a light. It was small, but the first light I had seen in days; I ran towards it as fast as I could, running faster than I ever had in my life, yet barely feeling tired. 

I know I have to get there, yet I don’t know why. I no longer care about the woods or my brother. I just keep running.

Team Literary Analysis #2

Teammates: Connor and Gerald

In life, you can’t just sit on the sidelines. In the Odyssey, one of the main characters, Telemachus, struggles with growing up and facing his problems head on. Telemachus grows up without a father, without someone to lead him on the correct path. He feels lost, unable to face his struggles with confidence. After calling a meeting between the town, hoping to find a solution to the issue of suitors draining all of his house’s resources, Telemachus gets up to speak. Tears dripping down his face, “Now we have no man like Odysseus in command to drive this curse from the house... A boy inept at battle. Oh I’d swing to attack if I had the power in me. By god, it’s intolerable, what they do —disgrace, my house a shambles!” Telemachus feels like he can do nothing in the face of disaster. The suitors that basically live at his house drain his supplies, and he has no options. When the council decides that they will do nothing about his problem, Telemachus takes it into his own hands. Inspired by Athena, he sets off to find his father and rid his house of the suitors. Telemachus finally is growing up and not just sitting idly by. Through the other first four books he becomes more of a man, talking and acting well. Telemachus takes the risk of leaving his mother behind, and finally takes control. The control Telemachus obtains finally makes him an adult, no longer seeing his life, but experiencing it. This added depth of living makes us more mature, and more human.