Opening Up

There are certain things in which mediocrity is not to be endured, such as poetry, music, painting, public speaking. - Jean de la Bruyere

I have always hated public speaking. It’s not a confidence issue it’s just a nervous feeling that’s unstoppable. I feel nauseas just thinking about it. My senior reflection was the first time that I would ever have to open up to a large crowd about myself. It was so easy to write and practice but it seemed impossible to stand up and talk about something so personal in front of the entire school. The crowd of three hundred was so intimidating no matter how much I knew I had practiced without messing, I was panicking. Then, they all fell silent and there was no escape. There was only one option, to do it and to do it well. After being called up to the stage I nervously trudged to the front and center of the hall. At that moment I realized that I was a senior at a school where I had really found my confidence and I had nothing to worry about. 

The words just flowed out of me, my legs shook the whole time and I hated every second of it, but the effect it had on the school and teachers was possibly my most satisfying accomplishment of my academic career. It felt incredible. So many people came up to me and gave incredibly positive feed back. I felt like I made a change in myself and the community. There have been many times at this school where I have felt like I am just one of 350 students and I don’t really contribute to the community but the talk that I gave had an immediate positive impact. For the first time Fenn could thank me for something rather than me thanking them. 

My senior reflection lifted a massive weight off my back. When I found out how I had effected certain people by the way I acted, I knew something was wrong because that wasn’t me. I’m not a mean person and I knew that I had to continue that message and present it for the school and I am incredibly proud that I did it. 

There have been hundreds of meaningless senior reflections. I can see how tempting it is to just brush it off and talk about something brief and generic, but I feel so much more confident and so much lighter now that I really made an effort on mine. My senior reflection was different and I truly believe that everyone should continue to really open up to the community, because that’s what a reflection is for. 

No Judgments

Writing prompt #1

"He was; a very sight of sights to see; yet I began to feel myself mysteriously drawn towards him. And those same things that would have repelled most others, they were the very magnets that thus drew me."- Moby Dick, Herman Melville

People handle others who different in all sorts of ways. Personally, when I meet someone who may look or act very different from me, I see it as an opportunity to learn and diversify my relationships. When I go to summer camp, each year I have to get to know new people and deal with them no matter what. Being in a bad relationship with some on a six week canoe trip is maddening and needs to be avoided. Each year I meet my section at the Toronto airport. It’s a time filled with emotions and nervousness. Trying to make good impression on each other but the same time trying understand and decipher each others personalities. I try to be as friendly as possible to people I meet that are very different. This year at camp I met a kid who basically came to camp with a drinking problem. Rather than judging him immediately, I tried to get to know him. He became one of my best camp friends and I recently saw him in New York City over break where he lives. He told me that he knew he had been stupid by drinking he had completely stopped. I never would have became good friends with him if I had judged him for his flaw rather than searched for his upside. Different isn’t always bad. I would never want to only be friends with white, private school, Christian kids that never get into trouble. I would never learn anything from them. Meeting new people and learning how to deal with and befriend them is how all social learning experiences happen. Making judgements are the wrong way tog o about social situations because different I’d just different and nothing else. 

Temporary vs. Lasting Happiness

A true teacher would never tell you what to do. But he would give you the knowledge with which you could decide what would be best for you to do. - Christopher Puke, Sati

Some people seek happiness blindly and don’t mind if they don’t know what else is going on in the world. I am the type of person who always wants to know and always wants to understand. Whether it’s in school, in sports or in the news. I am not the type of person to ignore the important events going on in the world or be ignorant to the pressing issues that could effect humanity. In school I don’t just want to get the answer to a problem I want to know how to get there. Although I may joke about how I only care about grades, I love to learn and I get great satisfaction out of understanding things and and solving problems. Being wise is always better for me than being ignorant. To me somebody who would rather be ignorant is someone who is too lazy or too scared to face real problems that need to be solved. Sometimes if there is an issue people will ignore it and avoid learning more about the issue so they can be happier. However, I feel that ignorant happiness can only be temporary. Issues will always catch up to someone in the end, they can’t be brushed off, because no matter how laid back someone may be, stress is natural and it effects people’s happiness greatly. No successful person has ever gotten to where they are now by ignoring there problems and hoping everything will workout. That is for people who want win the lottery, but higher than 99.9% don’t win the lottery, and if they are ambitious they have to earn their success. Not just avoid problems and hope. Being wise is necessary for eternal happiness. I would never want to be someone who pushes away problems because I love to be productive and I want use my privileged life the best way I can and being ignorant would be an absolute waist of my gifts in life.