Opening Up

There are certain things in which mediocrity is not to be endured, such as poetry, music, painting, public speaking. - Jean de la Bruyere

I have always hated public speaking. It’s not a confidence issue it’s just a nervous feeling that’s unstoppable. I feel nauseas just thinking about it. My senior reflection was the first time that I would ever have to open up to a large crowd about myself. It was so easy to write and practice but it seemed impossible to stand up and talk about something so personal in front of the entire school. The crowd of three hundred was so intimidating no matter how much I knew I had practiced without messing, I was panicking. Then, they all fell silent and there was no escape. There was only one option, to do it and to do it well. After being called up to the stage I nervously trudged to the front and center of the hall. At that moment I realized that I was a senior at a school where I had really found my confidence and I had nothing to worry about. 

The words just flowed out of me, my legs shook the whole time and I hated every second of it, but the effect it had on the school and teachers was possibly my most satisfying accomplishment of my academic career. It felt incredible. So many people came up to me and gave incredibly positive feed back. I felt like I made a change in myself and the community. There have been many times at this school where I have felt like I am just one of 350 students and I don’t really contribute to the community but the talk that I gave had an immediate positive impact. For the first time Fenn could thank me for something rather than me thanking them. 

My senior reflection lifted a massive weight off my back. When I found out how I had effected certain people by the way I acted, I knew something was wrong because that wasn’t me. I’m not a mean person and I knew that I had to continue that message and present it for the school and I am incredibly proud that I did it. 

There have been hundreds of meaningless senior reflections. I can see how tempting it is to just brush it off and talk about something brief and generic, but I feel so much more confident and so much lighter now that I really made an effort on mine. My senior reflection was different and I truly believe that everyone should continue to really open up to the community, because that’s what a reflection is for.