Growing as a Person

My Final Year at Fenn

This year hasn't been easy. I came from somewhat enjoying English last year to now sitting in my house in June of 2020 and loving it. I have grown in so many ways but it wouldn't have happened without my English teacher Fitz. He has many phrases that I have no clue where they are from but they just make sense. For an example, "90% of life is just simply about giving a dam and showing up!"

I learned that although I might not like or enjoy everything that I do in life, I should still persevere through it because I will likely take away something and if not, then at least I proved to myself that I can persevere through things that are hard, boring and that I just don't want to do.

Another thing that I learned this year is how to write a good story. Before this year, I hated writing about anything. However, with Fitz's planner that really breaks down the sections, I learned it is not about how much you write and the big picture, however the small picture and the way your story flows. With this, I felt I was not able to write much longer essays and stories, however much more detailed and interesting stories. In addition to that, Fitz's taught me to write about how you feel and what you are passionate about. One example where I really applied this was the essay of how we could improve Fenn. Although it was hard at first, after brainstorming some ideas, I had written 500 words before I knew it. Writing this essay taught me that anyone can be a good writer you just have to have something to believe in.

One final lesson and definitely the most important lesson is that you need to sell your writing to the reader. If you put a half-hearted effort in, people won't read past the first paragraph. However, if you write what you really feel and how you want the reader to appreciate the story, chances are that you will get the feedback that you were looking for. While this may have taken me more effort, it has taught me that people really can see the effort you put in.

Through success and failure and many many many essays, I am glad to have been in Fitz's English class this year and to have grown as an English student. It definitely taught me that you have to work hard and show effort however not all "work" has to be boring and that you can turn things and make it fun.

Life Lessons

How I Have Learned Through Experience

“Short cuts make long delays.” - Unknown

Life has never been easy for me. People are constantly coming and going, I have moved schools almost every 2 years, and half the time I have no clue what on earth I am doing. This may make you think I am a train wreck, and while not everything goes as I have planned it. I have learned a lot through all the changes and mistakes that have happened.

One of the most important things that took me the longest time ever to learn was to live in the moment. I am a planner and still today I am always thinking about whats the next big thing in life. However, I try to appreciate the little things a lot more and the down moments. I learned that not everything has to be big and high on life and crazy and that although those times look great for my Instagram and to laugh back on. The moments that are a lot more chilled out have more of an impact on me and I will always cherish them down the line and after the experience is over.

Another thing that I have learned and believe in life by experiencing it constantly and having to embrace it is changing. I gave a senior reflection on it this year simply because no matter who you are you have to expect it to happen in some way shape or form. For myself, it happened so constantly that my outlook on it is constantly changing along with the change. Right now and this ties back to living in the moment, the biggest thing I would say about it is to have a positive outlook on it. Life is not easy so as human beings when something good is happening to us we love is and try to embrace it and hold onto it as long as we can. So usually when change comes, it is seen as a burden or something sad that has to affect us so much, which then puts us in a negative mindset towards what's new to come. However, I like to have my little pity party and then have a positive outlook. Most of the time when change is occurring or going to occur it will end up with you as a happier person. Sure during the moment, it may not be what you want, however, we all have to take challenging and difficult steps in order to reach the light at the end of the tunnel. People have told me and I haven't realized it till recently that everything happens for a reason and it truly does. We all have to take hardship in order to have what's good.

One final life lesson and belief that I have learned from experience is to put yourself out there and put your nerves aside. Since last year I have been dealing a lot with anxiety and doing simple things like going up to give a senior reflection wanted to make me collapse. However, all these situations that I didn't want to do, I ended up getting forced into someone that cares about me, and to be honest I couldn't be more thankful for that. Most of the time the experiences I have been thrown into have been lifechanging like my youtube and learning how to fly catch on the flying trapeze at camp. While some like public speaking or confronting people in the heat of the moment has been hard to do, its something that I am pushing myself every day to work on.

With all things considered, life is NOT easy and everyone has a different experience. However, through all the experiences and beliefs I have learned some important life lessons that I would never give up on and will continue to follow for a long way to come.

Reading Log

Fitz's Walden

Reading Session #1 

Interesting Quotes…

“As long as possible live free and uncommitted. It makes but little difference whether you are committed to a farm or the county jail.”
“I should not obtrude my affairs so much on the notice of my readers if very particular inquiries had not been made by my townsmen concerning my mode of life,”
“The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior. ”

Brief Metacognition…

So far I have really enjoyed reading Fitz's Walden. I tried reading Walden once in 6th grade and hated it. This version of it, however, has not only taught me a lot but also allowed me to learn about my English teacher's history and life before Fenn. It also made me realize that I have a lot to connect with him through our huge differences.

Reading Session #2 

Interesting Quotes…

“Others have been curious to learn what portion of my income I devoted to charitable purposes; and some, who have large families, how many poor children I maintained. I will, therefore, ask those of my readers who feel no particular interest in me to pardon me if I undertake to answer some of these questions in this book.”
“Most men, even in this comparatively free country, through mere ignorance and mistake, are so occupied with the factitious cares and superfluously coarse labors of life that its finer fruits cannot be plucked by them.”
“Here is life, an experiment to a great extent untried by me;”

Brief Metacognition…

I am still really enjoying reading Fit's Walden. It really shows what a humble person he is which is why I put in the first quote as it really shows that in life you don't need much, really apart from yourself.

Reading Session #3

Interesting Quotes…

“None of the brute creation requires more than Food and Shelter.”
“ I hewed the main timbers six inches square, most of the studs on two sides only, and the rafters and floor timbers on one side, leaving the rest of the bark on, so that they were just as straight and much stronger than sawed ones.”
“ I set up the frame of my house. No man was ever more honored in the character of his raisers than I. They are destined, I trust, to assist at the raising of loftier structures one day. ”

Brief Metacognition…

This section that I read, about Fits building his house taught me about hard work. He didn't have much, and he did it all by himself. It also taught me about grit and determination. Fitz wanted his house and so because of that, he built it.

Reading Session #4 

Interesting Quotes…

“My imagination carried me so far that I even had the refusal of several farms- the refusal was all I wanted- but I never got my fingers burned by actual possession.”
“As long as possible live free and uncommitted. It makes but little difference whether you are committed to a farm or the county jail.”
“The only house I had been the owner of before, if I except a boat, was a tent,”

Brief Metacognition…

In this reading, the second and third quotes that I put really spoke to me. The second one really spoke to me because I love summer and am not as big of a fan of school. I feel that in summer, you control your destiny and what you want to do. So seeing that quote made me think of summer and camp. The third quote spoke to me because it shows that you have to work for what you want in life and not everything comes easy.

Solitude

A Quite World

“There's just something obvious about emptiness, even when you try to convince yourself otherwise. ” - Sarah Dessen

Mondays are always rough, even with the online school it is still completely rough. Going from lounging around and not having to think about the time I have to be out of bed by then having to force myself to head downstairs at around 8:30 is not fun. Since lockdown has started, walking my dog has helped with this. So this afternoon I did exactly that. I know Solitude is supposed to be isolated from others and to be alone, however, my dog is practically my right hand. He is better than any therapist I have been to ever in my life. Plus its instant therapy. All he has to do is come up to me wagging his tail and all my life problems seem to go away. That's why I love walking with him. Recently and today I have been thinking a lot about what life will be like after quarantine. Usually, when I try crossing the street I have to wait a couple of minutes. However recently, I didn't even have to look both ways before I crossed.

Quarantine has effected all of us, some more than others. And seeing people walking by with masks on just feels weird. I have seen so many houses empty, people packed up and gone to their relatives across the country. It is weird seeing everything that used to be booming so empty.

To put it simply, I cannot wait for things to open up again. Although this is a nice break, I am ready for things to start back up again.

My brother is unlike any other, to say the least. Recently I have been hearing the phrase a lot of blood is thicker than water representing the fact you will always put up with your family and be with them compared to friends, acquaintances and those that come and go throughout your life. While he does annoy me practically every hour on the hour (especially since quarantine has started he has been driving me absolutely INSANE)!!! I will always love him and care about him as there are glimmers of where he can be good as gold just as he looks in his baby photos.

Since a young child, my brother has had to sacrifice a lot, sure all the moves and school changes have been easier on him because he was either too young to remember or he was at the age where everyone was best friends with each other within five minutes, but one thing he can't give up is all the memories of the times he would be sleeping in a car while I had to go to the emergency room or the times where my grandparents would stay with him whilst I would be getting my latest surgery. Looking back as I write this, it really does make me realize how brave he had to have been in those moments because although he was nervous he wouldn't show it as it would have likely stressed me out.

However, while those little big moments of bravery were amazing to look back on to see and prove how much he cares about me, my brother is a completely different person. My brother can be very very very annoying to say the least (and that's putting it nicely). Through his nearly 13 years of being around me, he has definitely figured out how to push my buttons and get to me. Some of his specialties would include coming into my room whenever I am trying to fall asleep at night, wearing my clothes and then claiming he did not know and most recently running in and out of my zoom calls yelling at the top of his lungs.

While my brother can be quite a character to handle, he is also very hardworking and funny. No matter what he does he gives 110 percent all the time. My grandfather is definitely the funny one in the family and his genes have seemed to skip a generation to my brother. Half the time I don't even know how he comes out with the stuff he does but it is definitely one of the highlights to my day.

Finally, one thing that is great about my brother is how he never changes. Over the years we have had our daily arguments, however even after some of the bigger ones where he tells me we will never be friends again, he always comes around and we continue life as if nothing hapened.

Overall, although sometimes I wonder how on earth I ended up with my brother, I seriously wouldnt change the world for it as he is seriously one of my favorite human beings I know.

Every group needs a leader for support and guidance. In the book Lord of the Flies by Lowis Lowry, leadership is a huge component as everyone wants a part of it. Without leadership on the island, the boys would turn to chaos. While there is debate and disagreement about who is qualified and capable of being the group leader, it is necessary for the boys to have one. In the book, shortly after the boys had arrived on the island. Jack decides that he should be leader of the group. However others disagree with him as Ralph was the boy who found and taught the others about the conch and his wisdom could be useful as a leader. ““I ought to be chief,” said Jack with simple arrogance, “because I’m chapter chorister and head boy. I can sing C sharp.” ... “Him with the shell.” “Ralph! Ralph!” - Lord of the Flies Page 22. This is important because it shows that Jack thinks he should be leader while others believe that Ralph’s knowledge is worth more than Jack’s strength. While this will cause conflict. It is an essential part of leadership for the group. However, continuation of this conflict about who should be leader will later cause the whole leadership system to collapse. With all things considered, leadership is important and in order to set things right, it can come with conflict.

Every group needs a leader for support and guidance. In the book Lord of the Flies by Lowis Lowry, leadership is a huge component as everyone wants a part of it. Without leadership on the island, the boys would turn to chaos. While there is debate and disagreement about who is qualified and capable of being the group leader, it is necessary for the boys to have one. In the book, shortly after the boys had arrived on the island. Jack decides that he should be leader of the group. However others disagree with him as Ralph was the boy who found and taught the others about the conch and his wisdom could be useful as a leader. ““I ought to be chief,” said Jack with simple arrogance, “because I’m chapter chorister and head boy. I can sing C sharp.” ... “Him with the shell.” “Ralph! Ralph!” - Lord of the Flies Page 22. This is important because it shows that Jack thinks he should be leader while others believe that Ralph’s knowledge is worth more than Jack’s strength. While this will cause conflict. It is an essential part of leadership for the group. However, continuation of this conflict about who should be leader will later cause the whole leadership system to collapse. With all things considered, leadership is important and in order to set things right, it can come with conflict.

- Writing 8,000 words isn't easy and plain out boring. That's why being able to sell your story is important. This takes passion, energy, determination, and enthusiasm. If you arent passionate about your story and what you want to possibly make a movie out of or sell it just isn't going to work. In addition to that if you aren't passionate about it - what on earth are you doing? If you don't like the piece you are writing on it simply isn't going to be good and people won't want to look at it simply because you don't yourself. 

- The thought of 8,000 words to me was not ideal - with this I lobbied my English teacher Fitz to let me film and produce a movie instead. After many attempts and different sell points, he thankfully caved in. With this, I had less time to get possibly more work done which leads me to my next point of advice - planning, and organization. The whole process takes a lot of time, to say the least. By planning out what you are going to write section by section it helps a lot. That way you can jot down any thoughts that you have and be able to have a clear path on where the story is going.

 - My next piece of advice would be to take time out to simply just work. While at first two weeks to do an assignment seems like a long while. However, it shortly creeps up before you know it and somehow its the night before the assignment and there are still loads to do. While worth ethic is very personal to each individual, I have found that by putting a solid hour or two of work at a time without having any breaks or distractions is the best way to go by it instead of doing little chunks of time here and there.  

- My next piece of advice would be to go get advice and have someone hold you accountable for your work. I have found that by having friends and my parents look at my work, it not only helps me improve from the advice they give. However, it also makes me want to work harder as I know that they want to see me and my project succeed. There are only so many ideas I can only have as a person. That's why by getting others involved with my project, I get new fresh and open-minded ideas which while I might not use, definitely contribute to how I could make the project better.

- My final piece of advice would be to have self-love and pride. There are so many people out there that won't see the true talent and hard work that has been put into the heroic cycle project. By having self-pride it not only motivates you to work more, however it proves you know what you are doing and that you believe what you are worth. There will be so many people to "fix" things and tell you how to "improve" however by proving that you like what you have accomplished needs to come from inside of you.

The Unexpected Becoming a Reality

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” - Charles Dickens 

Throughout our lives, the unexpected somehow happens to become a reality. In A Child's Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas, this happens throughout several different situations including a fire on Christmas Eve as well as fears coming to life.

In the book, A Child's Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas, an unexpected fire takes place on Christmas Eve at the Prothero's house. This brought an unexpected excitement towards the kids playing in the street because it gave them something to throw their snowballs at. 

"The snowballs in our arms, toward the house; and smoke, indeed, was pouring out of the dining-room...This was better than all the cats in Wales standing on the     wall in a row. We bounded into the house, laden with snowballs, and stopped at the open door of the smoke-filled room." A Child's Christmas

This unexpected excitement made the kids day and allowed them to have fun putting out. Another unexpected reality at this moment was the fact that the fire brigade wasn't working. This was an additional struggle as their house was about to burn down. However, with the fire in the house becoming an unexpected reality, it caused people to have to think quickly in order to save the Prothero's house.

Another example of an unexpected reality that was shown in the book A Child's Christmas was when Jim and Jack thought they encountered a ghost while exploring. They had to use their bravery while they were scared to get out of the darkness and go back home. 

“We stumbled up the darkness of the drive that night, each one of us afraid, each one holding a stone in his hand in case.” A Child's Christmas

At this moment, the unexpected really did become the expected of their fears. However, as they overcame their fears with bravery they ended up safe and sound by running home.

Another example of an unexpected reality that was shown in the book A Child's Christmas was when Jim and Jack thought they encountered a ghost while exploring. They had to use their bravery while they were scared to get out of the darkness and go back home. 

The Power of Tradition

Fireworks and Pizza

“You're much better than fireworks. They're all over in a moment, and you're going to stay for a fortnight. Besides, fireworks are noisy, and they make too much smoke.” - Kate Ross

Many families have huge traditions of seeing their grandparents every Christmas or trying to see a glimpse of summer by going to the southern hemisphere. While my family has small traditions, they are the ones that have a bigger impact than any extravagant trip anywhere. Every year on New Year's Eve, my family and I go out to see the Fireworks on the Boston Common. Despite the cold, it is overall a really great time. We head out at around six pm to the T and join the crowds of people heading into Boston. One of the best parts about New Year's eve is the buzz in the air and the feeling of excitement that everyone else has. Once we get off the T into the freezing cold of Boston the real fun begins. There's usually a parade going through Boston right before the fireworks and its great to see all the different culture's represented. When the fireworks being its amazing to see all the colors in the air and how amazed and at awe people are by the different colors celebrating the start to a new year. After the fireworks, it is always a tradition for my family and I to go and eat Pizza. In Cambridge, Massachusets, there is a place called ZA Pizza where my brother and I have been celebrities since we have moved to Boston. It's always great to go and see some of the same managers, servers and chefs that have literally seen me grow up since I was a small and eight years old. While eating pizza and seeing fireworks on Boston common may seem something simple or boring to others, there is something about doing it every single year on New Years that makes it really special that never get's old.