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April 2020

Solitude

Solitude

A Quite World

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“There's just something obvious about emptiness, even when you try to convince yourself otherwise. ” - Sarah Dessen

 

Mondays are always rough, even with the online school it is still completely rough. Going from lounging around and not having to think about the time I have to be out of bed by then having to force myself to head downstairs at around 8:30 is not fun. Since lockdown has started, walking my dog has helped with this. So this afternoon I did exactly that. I know Solitude is supposed to be isolated from others and to be alone, however, my dog is practically my right hand. He is better than any therapist I have been to ever in my life. Plus its instant therapy. All he has to do is come up to me wagging his tail and all my life problems seem to go away. That's why I love walking with him. Recently and today I have been thinking a lot about what life will be like after quarantine. Usually, when I try crossing the street I have to wait a couple of minutes. However recently, I didn't even have to look both ways before I crossed.

Quarantine has effected all of us, some more than others. And seeing people walking by with masks on just feels weird. I have seen so many houses empty, people packed up and gone to their relatives across the country. It is weird seeing everything that used to be booming so empty.

To put it simply, I cannot wait for things to open up again. Although this is a nice break, I am ready for things to start back up again.


Memoir

My brother is unlike any other, to say the least. Recently I have been hearing the phrase a lot of blood is thicker than water representing the fact you will always put up with your family and be with them compared to friends, acquaintances and those that come and go throughout your life. While he does annoy me practically every hour on the hour (especially since quarantine has started he has been driving me absolutely INSANE)!!! I will always love him and care about him as there are glimmers of where he can be good as gold just as he looks in his baby photos.

Since a young child, my brother has had to sacrifice a lot, sure all the moves and school changes have been easier on him because he was either too young to remember or he was at the age where everyone was best friends with each other within five minutes, but one thing he can't give up is all the memories of the times he would be sleeping in a car while I had to go to the emergency room or the times where my grandparents would stay with him whilst I would be getting my latest surgery. Looking back as I write this, it really does make me realize how brave he had to have been in those moments because although he was nervous he wouldn't show it as it would have likely stressed me out.

However, while those little big moments of bravery were amazing to look back on to see and prove how much he cares about me, my brother is a completely different person. My brother can be very very very annoying to say the least (and that's putting it nicely). Through his nearly 13 years of being around me, he has definitely figured out how to push my buttons and get to me. Some of his specialties would include coming into my room whenever I am trying to fall asleep at night, wearing my clothes and then claiming he did not know and most recently running in and out of my zoom calls yelling at the top of his lungs.

While my brother can be quite a character to handle, he is also very hardworking and funny. No matter what he does he gives 110 percent all the time. My grandfather is definitely the funny one in the family and his genes have seemed to skip a generation to my brother. Half the time I don't even know how he comes out with the stuff he does but it is definitely one of the highlights to my day.

Finally, one thing that is great about my brother is how he never changes. Over the years we have had our daily arguments, however even after some of the bigger ones where he tells me we will never be friends again, he always comes around and we continue life as if nothing hapened.

Overall, although sometimes I wonder how on earth I ended up with my brother, I seriously wouldnt change the world for it as he is seriously one of my favorite human beings I know.