Empathy, Bigotry & Marginalization
02/21/2020
Putting Someone Down
How one sentence can ruin someone’s day
“When you're marginalized, there are no "them people," if we're all on the outskirts of the same margin.”
―
Some people are just put to the side; furthermore, I see this sometimes in my life. One example of this is when a kid who was autistic was excluded in my friends game of hide and seek.
I came over to my friends house on a mild fall day in 2012 for a Hanukkah, and we decided we would play hide and seek while we were waiting for dinner. My friends house was relatively small, but they had a massive backyard with a lot of trees to disguise with. My friend has an autistic brother named John, who is very caring and nice, but has a hard time figuring out social and emotional cues.
We met up in the center of their back yard. We were practically surrounded by stout bushes and stumpy pines. We got into a circle and decided who the seeker should be. John was involved in trying to find a squirrel in the bush. I thought he might want to play with us, so I called out to him. “John, do you want to join us?” He nodded his head, but one not so kind friend said “He can’t play with us! He doesn't know how to.” This was incredibly mean because John did know how to play—like almost everyone in the world— and I am sure that the rude friend did not want John to play because he was different than us. In the end, John was excluded because of someone’s lack of empathy.
I wish this situation never happened. John most likely went to bed that night feeling terrible. Empathy could of fixed this situation. If that rude friend didn’t say those hurtful words, John would of had a great time; on the other hand, that friend could of just learned how to be empathetic to people slightly different than us, which would make everything ok. I wish people knew how to be tolerant to matters like these.
Remember The Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.
It is always hard to go back and think about what could have happened if someone didn’t do or say something. But you did that well in this piece.
Posted by: Rory Kennealy | 02/21/2020 at 12:12 PM
This is a sad story to read because it is something that happens way to often in our world. People being excluded just because they are “different”. Good job on this.
Posted by: Sean L | 02/23/2020 at 05:26 AM
This was a sad piece to read, and what that freind said was truly awful. It was, however, well described and expertly tied back into empathy for the Head and Heart. I also liked your conclusion, because while unorthodox, it ended the piece nicely and reiterated on the theme in a new way.
Posted by: Nick Brady | 02/23/2020 at 07:45 AM
Discrimination is something that we will never fully be able to get rid of in life, but the way that you described it could make someone change their mind. This was a great piece Eli!
Posted by: Max LG | 02/23/2020 at 12:28 PM
This is discrimination, and also so what if he doesn’t know how to play. You could teach him, or just let him hang around with you guys that was a real lack of empathy from that person.
Posted by: Colin Soukup | 02/23/2020 at 04:19 PM
It must have been difficult for you in that situation as you did the best you could, but still your friend was excluded. I think that this piece is extremely powerful and I love your use of colloquial language!
Posted by: Will S. | 02/23/2020 at 05:36 PM
This was depressing to read about, but it was good that you at least tried to include him before he was eventually rejected. This kind of marginalization is something that can get out of hand, and based on this being in 2012, the kid that said those words was probably pretty young, yet the impact is still just as bad.
Posted by: William O'Malley | 02/23/2020 at 09:31 PM
Reading this piece made me dejected about the youth of society. While the story is saddening, I am very impressed by how it is written. I love the first sentence of your setup. This sentence checks off every box in the “essential details checklist”: who, what, where, when, why. Also, in the smoking gun, you say, “ We were practically surrounded by stout bushes and stumpy pines.” Most people would just say, “ We were practically surrounded by bushes and pines.” These descriptive adjectives added detail and more effectively portrayed the image. Well done.
Posted by: Oliver Ali | 02/24/2020 at 02:36 PM
It’s quite sad John never got to play in the end. I think that the other kids just feared the possibility of him winning. The thing that makes the situation even worse is that this had to have been agreed on in a consensus to exclude John. One of the things I can appreciate about this piece is your adherence to Fitz’s comma rules, nice job.
Posted by: Yoni Ghansah | 02/25/2020 at 04:58 AM